Cocaine to Ecstasy

This is a true story of how I kicked a Coke habit that I had for about 3 years.
It all began in 1983 when I first starting doing Cocaine. At first it was something that I did about once a week. Usually on a Friday night and into Saturday. I would use it to go out to the bars and go drinking. I would buy a gram, and usually there would be a little left over for Saturday morning. This went on for several months and as I came in contact with more people who liked Coke, I would start to split grams with people during the week. This increased till I was doing that everyday, this took about a year to develop. I was fixing business machines and would collect a little money everyday, by the second year I would buy Coke at least once a day. I thought that I would try selling it, to help with the cost that were starting to add up. But, the Coke I would buy would always end up being snorted by myself and a couple close friends. By the third year nearly all of my money was going for Coke. Food became secondary to me and I would skip days eating to be able to afford Coke. I started to hang out with a guy who shot his Coke up with needles. We became best friends, I would fix a machine and he would be waiting for me in my car, we would instantly go buy Coke with the money that I had just made, occasionally stopping at Arby's for a sandwich, which was all that I would eat any more.

This went on till we were homeless and living in tents in the mountains. I started to get concerned that I had a habit that I could not kick. I saw many people wreck their lives during this period. In fact my business was in serious trouble as I never paid my bills. Part of the problem was that Coke was really "the" thing to do in this town at the time. Seemed everyone I Knew was into it. It was a real social drug. I stopped doing it at bars, and would go to the camp in the mountains and just lay around doing Coke all the time. My friend shot his, I snorted mine. In desperation to make more money I expanded the territory that I was working and would drive 80 miles to do service calls. The new territory had a lot of new money for me and I started to disassociate with my old friends and would go to Denver for my Coke. I was doing about a gram a day, my friend doing the same in his veins. My attitude in life became one of giving up and thinking that I would die eventually, but that was OK, as long as I could do Coke till I did.

Then one day while in Denver in 1986 to pick up the next batch of Coke, my dealer said, "Try this! It's X, it's everything you thought Coke would be before you did it." He gave me some instructions on how to do it and I bought a gram of it along with the Coke. When we got back to the mountains I tried it and the first time didn't really get much from it, and did a little more. I got hot flashes and felt uncomfortable, so put it aside and did the rest of the Coke we had bought. The next day we tried it again and only did the amount my dealer said to try, 150mg. Wow, it hit me so good. We both looked at each other, feeling the full effects of the X! "MDMA" my dealer had said, "A doctor friend was making it." It was the best I had felt in years! Maybe ever! My friend felt the same, we were impressed. "Yes, this is what Coke was supposed to be!" We both agreed. My God, it just felt so good, we couldn't believe it! Music was wonderful! Life actually felt good. We were so high, AND NO JONES! The next day we did it again and it was the same! Wow, so good. We finished the gram and ran to Denver for more. My dealer was quite surprised that we didn't want any Coke, but said he knew we'd like the X, it had become his favourite too. We talked about how good it feels, how washing your hands on X is like the most pleasurable experience that you could imagine. We talked of how Coke is such a joke, how it does nothing but suck your money.

Now, after years of doing Coke and thinking I couldn't quit, I had lost my desire for it 100% in one day. I was amazed. Because of my habit of doing something constantly, I did a dose X nearly everyday for quite a while, but it was a healthy feeling and I got my life back on track and was eating again, working normal, paying bills again. I tried to turn everyone I know onto it, but at the time there had been a bad batch of MPTP or something in Ca. and all my friends were afraid to try it, they just kept on doing Coke. I heard the story of dry spines after 50 times doing X and I had already done more than that, but with business doing good again and X being expensive too, I eventually was down to doing a dose every couple weeks or so, then my source moved and although I miss it, never had any kind of bad jones or negative withdraw symptoms.

My friend did eventually get hooked on Coke again after about 6 months, he was around it everyday where he worked and died in 1989 do to Coke abuse. If X was available to us during those years I am sure he would've stayed away from Coke. When my friend died I was never so upset with this governments stupid laws as I was then. X should be available to those who need it, that simple. The laws killed my friend. He would have rather done X once a week than Coke everyday, but Coke was all he could get. When I hear of Coke being smuggled in by the CIA, it makes me sick. When I hear anti-ecstasy propaganda, it makes me sick too. We need to do something about this!

MDMA saved my life, that simple! To this day I stay far way from Coke, I make a point of it to stay away from people who do it too. The last few years we come across MDMA 2 or 3 times a year, I'm married now and this stuff is great for relationships, it really gives us a breath of fresh air when we do it. To feel good is such a simple thing, but so hard to experience at times do to the daily stress that we all have. X let's us feel good, and open up.

Well, that's the story.

From a 36 year old American man
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