A moment of enlightenment

 I had however been considering doing a pill for some time and had informed myself about it by reading pretty much everything on ecstasy.org and Erowids MDMA vault.

Me and my girlfriend took the pills at around 11pm, and were coming up pretty good by about midnight, the first signs I felt were a tingling sensation starting in my head and travelling down my body, then, not long after that I noticed I was truly rolling hard, I hadn`t really had a "rush" type come-up, but noticed that the conversation with our friends had become much more personal and intimate without us even realising it. The best word I have to describe it is that ideas flowed like "liquid".

Throughout that evening I had a much greater feel and understanding for music, and felt a total overwhelming sense of being at peace. I am a reflective and intellectual kind of person, and I think I gained a lot from the E in terms of alleviating the inner dialogue, and also in terms of the lesssons I have learned and the different perspective I have gained since doing the pill, It has truly been a life changing experience.

I know drugs are a supremely individual thing and a different pattern of usage is right for every different person, but from the experiences my friends and I have had I think that anyone using E on a weekly basis, even if they are only doing one pill a week, is seriously missing out on something, this drug has such a potential for self exploration and learning and hasn`t stopped showing me new things about the world and about other people since I dropped it. It will take me a long time to fully integrate into my life all it has taught me and to use it again too soon would defile the experience.

I intend to use MDMA again, maybe two or three times a year at most, but I remember my "moment of enlightenment" (and it truly was), when I sat in my chair rollin` and thought to myself "This is just me and my girlfriend and my mates, this is not the E".

I have been able to use this lesson and put what I learnt into practice since and do not need drugs to feel a sense of community with my friends. It is like the teachers of zen say about E - it is not a route to perfection but sometimes a glimpse of the goal helps to focus the mind.